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Jana Kramer opened up about the judgement she expects from some commenters as she gets ready to say “I do” to fiancé Allan Russell.
On the latest episode of Whine Down with Jana Kramer, the country singer-songwriter and actress “got a bit emotional” during her conversation with Kathryn Woodard “because it’ll always be a tough subject to talk about.” While talking about relationship rumors between Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, Kramer acknowledged the challenges of having a relationship in the public eye. She said, bottom line, she wants “everyone to be happy.”
“Even marrying Allan, [she sees] the comments of the people that are going to come in and go, ‘oh, you know, hope this fourth time —‘ I'm like, ‘you have no idea,’” she said. “OK, so what? So what she’s been married four times? So what I’m getting married these many times? I’m not going to fault someone for loving and trying. And I don’t think she should, I don’t feel like anyone should have the hate and the negativity around loving and trying. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t… it’s hard. It’s hard enough being in a married closed doors.”
Woodard explained that she understands the public intrigue of wanting to know what’s going on between Lopez and Affleck, though “I don’t defend hate ever.” Kramer said she wasn’t sure whether the hate bothered her so much as the feelings of failure. She got emotional as she said, “do you think I wanted to be married that many times? ...It’s embarrassing.” Woodard acknowledged that her friend just wanted “to find love,” and doubted that many people understood that Kramer “wanted to get married once and be happy for the rest of your life. That’s the most important thing to you.” It’s unfair for Kramer to feel at fault for “trying to find true love,” Woodard said.
“It's just because everyone just reads like headlines…I mean, Allan is the first person who I didn’t feel like I had to defend my past,” Kramer said. “Normally, like I went on this one date with this guy and he was like, ‘so you’ve been married a lot,’ and that’s always kind of been the conversation where I’m like, ‘yeah, when I was 19 I met someone and I knew him for, you know, a few days (and) went to Vegas. I was an idiot. He tried to kill me.’ …’Yeah, I walked down the aisle to someone else and I realized within a week that I made a stupid decision. I was trying to be chosen. I was very young and I was still, like, had a lot to do, but I knew it wasn’t gonna work.’ And so, those two are like, weren’t marriages to me. To me, I always say I’ve been married once, which was with Mike [Caussin, Kramer’s ex-husband with whom she shares children Jolie, 8, and Jace, 5], and do people honestly think that I wanted to not be in that marriage? I did not want my husband to cheat on me countless times. I would have loved to have been married to him. Having said that, you know, I’m now grateful for the love that I do have now…but I did not want to get divorced. I would not have stayed for that many years, affair after affair. I don’t want that. But I do want love. So, that’s the piece, too, even just with the upcoming wedding, there’s embarrassment with it. People don’t know the whole story. They just see a headline… You can say all the million things to me, but that’s always the one that hurts because I have shame around it, and i don’t because it led me here. So it’s twofold.
“And now I’m so grateful because I’m like, i can’t imagine a world without Roman,” Kramer said later, referencing her third child and her first with her fiancé. Kramer and Russell welcomed son Roman James in November 2023. “I can’t imagine a world without Allan. …This is a beautiful life that I’d never imagined I could ever have. …When I first met him, it didn’t even make him flinch. It didn’t make me feel crazy, didn’t make me feel like I had to defend myself. He was just like, you’re a warrior and I love you. That piece has been great, and I’m not — though there (are) pieces of shame in it, it’s just because of the comments and stuff. But I’m so grateful for that path. I just want everyone to be happy.”
Kramer posted a photo on Instagram on Tuesday morning from the day she shopped for her wedding dress. She spoke about the emotional podcast episode in her caption, acknowledging that past decisions can sometimes lead to hurt and shame. Woodard, however, reminded her that “it’s not meant to define you.”
“I feel like I got to take a piece of myself back when I talked about my past relationships in my book The Next Chapter,” Kramer said. “It felt freeing but most people only read the clicks and come to the same conclusion that ‘she’s a mess.’ And honestly as happy as I am, that has always been the hardest piece for me as ‘if people only knew.’ Listen to this week’s podcast to understand all this and where my head goes. So….Here’s to the girl that feels like she has messed up a million times. Thinks she’s the common denominator. That she deserves abuse, that she is bad. That she is the problem….. don’t let your past define you. You’re allowed to start over..as many times as you want. You’re allowed to be happy. No matter how many times it takes. Love. Love with your whole heart. And fight. Fight for yourself to be the best version. Fight to understand your whys and the lessons till you get to exactly where you were always supposed to be… and who you always were, but never believed. ♥️.”